Free Republic

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau announced in the Federal Register that it will “aggressively deploy cease and desist orders against businesses whose activities are a detriment to the nation’s well-being.” For the moment this new authority is “interim.” It is expected to become final on July 18. “For too long the Government has sat idly by while businesses have foisted unsafe and unhealthy products on an unsuspecting public,” CFPB Director Richard Cordray charged. “Under Section 1053(c) of the Dodd-Frank Act, we are empowered to protect the general public by ordering offending businesses to cease and desist.” Two industries that are...

Desperate for a way out of having to accept blame for a resumption of civil war in Iraq, President Obama welcomed the intervention of Iranian troops. “It’s a case of fighting fire with fire,” the President explained. “The ISIS are some bad folks, but so are the Iranians. ISIS is terrorizing the Iraqi countryside, but Iran has a long history of aiding terrorist organizations like Hezbollah.” Obama suggested that ISIS’s acquisition of Saddam Hussein’s secret stash of weapons of mass destruction could be counterbalanced by Iran’s secret nuclear weapons. “While the United States couldn’t credibly threaten ISIS with nuclear retaliation...

Citing a lengthy list of suspicious coincidences—including the most recent loss of critical evidence due to a narrowly focused crash of the computers used by individuals involved in the discriminatory treatment of conservative organizations—many of the Agency's critics have called for a "Special Prosecutor." IRS Commissioner John Koskinen told the House Ways and Means Committee, though, that "appointing a 'Special Prosecutor' to investigate alleged abuses in the Agency would be a colossal waste of money. Look, we've thoroughly frustrated every inquiry launched thus far. Why should anyone think we wouldn't just as easily thwart a so-called Special Prosecutor?" Representative Dave...

Speaking at a commencement ceremony at Worcester Technical High School in Worcester, Massachusetts, President Obama urged graduates to “vote Republicans out of office before they chain you to a life of sweat, toil, and unwanted personal responsibility.” “Our country is at a crossroad,” Obama declared. “Will we continue to go forward toward a future of government-funded leisure for all? Or will the reactionaries of the GOP be permitted to drag us backward toward a lifestyle where everyone is dependent upon his or her own efforts?” “Rugged individualism may have served our country well in the past when there was a...

Pressed to supply information in response to lawsuits charging that its widespread surveillance of US citizens is illegal, NSA Deputy Director Richard Ledgett contends that his agency cannot comply because “we’ve lost control over our computer system. We couldn’t retrieve the subpoenaed information if we wanted to. It’s like some kind of ‘Skynet’–alien and artificial intelligence has blocked access to all our data.” Ledgett told US District for the Northern District of California Judge Jeffrey White “we’re as scared about this as anyone. We don’t know who’s side the computer is on. We’d like to think that since we programmed...

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton expressed her “deep-felt disappointment” with the turn her NPR interview with Terry Gross took. “Of all places I would’ve thought I’d be safe on NPR,” Clinton complained. “Is this woman dense? For her to badger me like she did is unhelpful. I mean, NPR is public radio. As a subsidiary of the federal government they ought to do a better job of helping their friends.” The incident that sparked Clinton’s ire was a Gross question concerning when Clinton decided to support gay marriage. “During the time your husband was president it appeared that your...

Surprised that he is facing a run-off against State Senator Chris McDaniel to represent Mississippi in the US Senate, sitting Senator Thad Cochran (R) made an odd bid to corner the bestiality and animal cruelty vote. With a knowing wink to his Pine Bluff audience, Cochran boasted that he'd done "all kinds of indecent things with animals" growing up in rural Mississippi. Cochran campaign spokesman Jordan Russell downplayed Cochran's comments contending that they were "the sorts of antics that many boys and young men engage in as youths. Let's face it, rural Mississippi is just plain boring. Who can blame...

The recent military success of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)–they have taken several northern cities in Iraq and are said to be advancing on Baghdad—has the White House in a tizzy. In 2011 President Obama declared Iraq had been cleared of Islamic extremists, that they’d been decimated and were on the run. White House spokesman Josh Earnest insisted that “the administration is not accepting responsibility for these events. As the president has pointed out, Iraq was broken when he took office. The responsibility for that lies with his predecessor.” Earnest contended that “steps the President has...

As news emerges that newly repatriated Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl may have been a deserter and collaborator with the Taliban, President Barack Obama's national security adviser Susan Rice 's comment that Bergdahl had served with "honor and distinction" has come under fire. Undaunted by these unfavorable revelations, Rice insisted that her initial assessment still stands. "President Obama honored Sgt Bergdahl in his Rose Garden statement," Rice pointed out. "You can't ask for a higher honor than one bestowed by the President of the United States. And as for distinction, Bergdahl is now the most famous soldier to have served in...

News that the billionaire Koch brothers have donated $25 million to the United Negro College Fund spurred Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev) to demand an investigation. "In the midst of a raft of phony scandals the GOP has been trying to cook up on the IRS, Benghazi, and now the terrorists traded for a POW, we see that the two most dangerous men in America are extending their tentacles into yet another sector of society," Reid complained. "I, for one, find this latest development frightening. What sinister plan are they trying to implement?" Reid contrasted "the very live threat represented by...

The Québec National Assembly voted 94-22 to approve the so-called “dying with dignity” act. Under the provisions of this legislation any patient may request and will be granted euthanasia regardless of medical condition. Véronique Hivon, Minister for Social Services and Youth Protection, enthusiastically boasted that “we have done away with the notion that a person must be terminally ill before a merciful death can be prescribed. Now anyone who wants to end his life can simply order up the procedure.” Alex Schadenberg, executive director of the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition characterized the legislation as “a dangerous step down the path to...

In 1994 California voters approved a ballot measure that blocks illegal aliens from receiving welfare benefits. Now State Senator Kevin de Leon (D-Los Angeles) has introduced a Senate Bill (396) that would overturn the 1994 vote and make these undocumented residents eligible for publicly-funded aid. "These people are the poorest of the poor," de Leon said. "They came to this country to escape the poverty of their native lands. It is inhumane for us to deny them relief at the end of their arduous treks." The Senator dismissed concerns that the State budget was already too strained to bear the...

President Obama continued to insist that Sgt Bergdahl's health was a major factor in his decision to negotiate the exchange with the Taliban. "On the videos I saw he looked sick," the President said. "And based on what I've been reading in the newspapers the waiting time for medical treatment for veterans is dangerously long. As it is, veterans already in this country have to wait months, possibly years, to receive critically needed care. I felt it was crucial for me to get Bergdahl back as soon as possible so he could take his place on this lengthy queue." The...

On the 70th anniversary of D-Day, President Obama commended "the brave sacrifice of those who stormed ashore that day," but advised that "we must temper our admiration by the realization that the combat units involved were not racially integrated, no women were among the ranks, gays were still in-the-closet, and transgenders were not yet accorded full social acceptability they deserve." Obama congratulated himself "for having the fortitude and initiative to move forward on these critical fronts so that we can finally glimpse the goal that the men who died here 70 years ago gave their lives to help secure." if...

Senator Edward Markey (D-Mass) is pushing legislation (S-2219) that would empower the federal government to monitor all media to ferret out “hate speech.” “There is a large reservoir of bigotry in our population,” Markey said. “If we are to stamp it out we need to know who is spreading these vile thoughts. While we can’t listen in on everybody at this point we can access all communications passing over the Internet and airwaves.” The Senator denied his Bill is an invasion of privacy. “The Internet and the airwaves are in the public domain,” Markey asserted. “In effect, this means that...

For the 21st consecutive quarter the US economy has failed to live up to the Obama Administration’s promised improvement. The revised GDP for the January-March period of 2014 showed a 1% decline. The vaunted recovery from the “Great Recession” remains elusive. Jason Furman, Chairman of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, attributed the decline in GDP to “bad weather,” which he blamed on “GOP resistance to the President’s efforts to curb global climate change.” “In one sense, bad weather can just be bad luck,” Furman suggested. “The Soviet economy was hammered year-after-year by an incredible streak of bad weather from...

Senator Thad Cochran (R-Miss) continues to decline invitations to debate his Republican primary opponent Chris McDaniel on the grounds that “this is a race for the United States Senate, not a debating society.” “The voters of Mississippi have had 40 years to get to know my views,” Cochran pointed out. “I don’t see how a few hours of debate at this late date could provide a significant augmentation of what I’ve said and done in my service to the citizens of this fine state over this lengthy period.” “By appearing on the same platform with my less-experienced challenger I would...

In what appears to have the character of a preemptive strike in furtherance of her anticipated 2016 presidential campaign, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton blasted GOP efforts to open a Congressional investigation of 2012′s massacre of four Americans in Benghazi as “unpatriotic.” “For the sake of argument, let’s say that maybe some mistakes were made,” Clinton said. “Wouldn’t a public airing of these mistakes reflect poorly on the US Government? And wouldn’t making the Government look bad give aid and comfort to this country’s enemies? Isn’t this defined as treason in the US Constitution?” “When you consider that I...

First of all, the contention that the Veterans Administration used secret waiting lists to conceal lengthy delays in treatments is disproved by the fact that everyone knows about them,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) argued. “To say it’s a secret when there are hundreds of stories in newspapers, magazines, TV and radio is just more of the same old Republican dirty tricks.” “Then to say that somehow President Obama is at fault is simply unfair,” Pelosi continued. “As anyone who has seen his recent press conference knows he only found out about it from media reports just like the...

State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki lamented the perception that President Obama’s foreign policy has been plagued by incoherence and inconsistency, saying that “President Obama doesn’t give himself enough credit for what he’s done around the world.” “Lesser minds are having difficulty comprehending the sophisticated nuances of the President’s world view,” Psaki contended. “They see the resurgence of al-Qaeda as evidence of failure in the war on terror. What they fail to understand is that if the United States is not perceived as threatening, that it is no longer their enemy, they will have no reason to attack us. And unlike...