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New Kook or Kook Klassic? That is the debate going on this week amongst the denizens of the DUmp. "New Kook" is DU3, $kimmer's new moneymaker. "Kook Klassic" is DU2, the DUmmieland so many have come to know and love. Head DUmmie Skinner pulled the switchover this past weekend, but some of the children have refused to make the move and are staying behind in the old, mostly vacated house. Some have even fled the premises altogether and headed for Greener pastures (e.g., Left Underground). This refusal to move is troubling. Sure, $kimmer has sold his soul for a...

OK, I promise: After today, I will take a moratorium on Will Pitt DUFUs for a while. But today IS the man's 40th birthday, after all, and he IS the Pied Piper of DUmmieland, and he has been the #1 star of the DUmmie FUnnies over these past 7+ years. So a special birthday tribute today to William Rivers Pitt. Really, though, it's just an excuse to post a song I came up with since yesterday. Yesterday we DUFUed Will's THREAD, "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail," in which the Pittster bemoaned not some setback in the...

William Rivers Pitt: Citizen. Journalist. Activist. International best-selling author. Bouncer at Bukowski's. Pied Piper of DUmmieland. Where Mr. Pitt leads, the DUmmies will surely follow. And the Magic Man always leads by example. He stood up next to a mountain with Andy. He stood in a ditch with Mother Sheehan, braving furious fire ants for, oh, a good ten, fifteen minutes. William Pitt the Bolder nailed the Downing Street Memos to the White House door, at least mentally, on the Day When Everything Finally Changed. And Journalist Pitt BROKE the Fitzmas scoop on the Rove sealed indictment when no...

Brad Pitt might be gunning for a hit with his upcoming horror drama "World War Z," but the Hungarian government would prefer that he not do it with actual weapons. According to Us Weekly, a team from Hungary's anti-terrorism department raided one of the film's production warehouses and confiscated 85 fully functional weapons -- the majority of them assault rifles. SNIP According to the magazine, the weapons bore paperwork indicating they were nonfunctional, and it's not yet known who is responsible for the snafu. The guns were reportedly flown in via private plane Monday. An official for the Hungarian government...

In yesterday's DUFU, we documented how full of hate and anger the DUmmies are toward anyone who has more money than they do, particularly toward those who work in the financial sector. Signs saying "JUMP! YOU F***ERS!" and images of guillotines were typical of the DUmmies' violent fantasies. But even though the DUmmies and the OWSies are filled with such anger and hatred, don't you dare accuse them of posing a potential threat! No, the OWSies are non-violent, peaceful protesters, dontcha know. So any preparedness on the banks' part, trying to protect their employees' safety--this HAS to be a...

The Marines are coming! The Marines are coming! Yes, the entire leftwing blogosphere is all excited about the Marines supposedly coming to take part in the leftwing Wall Street protests as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "The Marines are coming to Wall St" and this KOmmieland THREAD, "#OccupyWallStreet - Report of Support from Soldiers." So what do you think are the chances of unformed Marines showing up on Wall Street to protest alongside a bunch of mangy hippies and spoiled Trust Fund Kids? How about somewhere between Nil and None? However, the DUmmies and KOmmies are ecstatic...

Well, that didn't take long. Will is dancing the Tepid Two-Step. Let's sing while he dances! SELF-RECANTED EVENINGTune: "Some Enchanted Evening"Self-recanted evening, When you see the flip-flops, You may see where Pitt stops Across the DUmmieland. And somehow you know, You know even then, That sometime you'll see him Recant once again. Self-aggrandized weaving, Bloviating windbag, Going where the wind blows, Not knowing where to stand. He'll write to the left-- That's left to go right-- Will's so busy dancing, He can't sleep at night. Who can explain Pitt? Who can tell you why? Will gives two versions, Neither...

The Independence Day holiday would not be complete without hearing from the Prime Minister of Great Written, William Pitt the Drunker. Wee Willie puts down his fifth long enough to do an essay on the Fourth, here in this THREAD, "I Pledge Allegiance to the Pole (some thoughts on the Fourth of July)." So since we're still within 24 business hours of the Fourth, let us go forth into the Mind of the Magic Man, in Written-Long-But-Not-Much-Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]: I Pledge Allegiance to the Pole [Pitt's real...

William Rivers Pitt, aka Will the Shill, has always been, if nothing else, a reliable party hack. So it must pain Pitt to write anything less than a fulsome paean of praise to President Hopenchange. But at the same time, if Pied Piper Pitt doesn't want to lose his audience in DUmmieland, he will have to express SOME level of dissatisfaction with how things have been going, since many progs now consider BO to be Bush Lite. What to do? Democrat loyalist vs. Pied Piper of DUmmieland? Pitt's solution? Damning with faint prez, as he does here in this...

President Bush--sorry, President OBAMA has just finished his speech on the kinetic military action in Libya, and the early reviews are coming in. Obama's speech? It's bombing in DUmmieland! Too many are saying they've heard this speech before. Just substitute "Saddam" for "Qaddafi" and "Iraq" for "Libya," and Chimpy McBushitler could have given it. But of course there are some Obama/Democrat Party loyalists trying to spin this thing so as to placate the DUmmies. Chief among the apologists is, as you would expect, William Rivers Pitt, aka Will the Shill, loyal party hack, who is starting to tiptoe carefully...

Why so much war? Because war is a profitable enterprise. George W. Bush and his people can hold forth about the wonders of democracy and peace, and can condemn worldwide violence in solemn tones. Until the United States stops being the world's largest arms dealer, these words from our government absolutely reek of hypocrisy. -- William Rivers Pitt International best-selling author William Rivers Pitt prides himself on being the leading opponent of Bush's War on Iraq, right from the get-go. Early on, he wrote (with his buddy, Inspector Scott Ritter) an international best-selling book, War on Iraq: What Team...

It's been at least 20 years since your humble correspondent paid a traffic ticket. Oh, I've gotten my share of tickets but I have gotten out of all of them one way or another. The best way to get out of a traffic ticket is NOT to get into the police officer's face am remain calm and POLITE. You just know that WILLIAM RIVERS PITT is exactly the kind of complete shmuck that gets into cops faces for a mere traffic infraction by the very exultant title of his THREAD, "Victory is ours, victory is ours, great day in...

COLLEGE FOOTBALL • Pittsburgh fired new football coach Mike Haywood on Saturday, a day after he was arrested at his home Friday on a domestic violence charge. Haywood was released Saturday from St. Joseph County Jail on $1,000 cash bond after the charge was upgraded from a misdemeanor to felony domestic battery in the presence of a minor. Within hours of his release, Pittsburgh put out a statement from Chancellor Mark A. Nordenberg saying Haywood had been dismissed, “effective immediately.” Pittsburgh hired Haywood away from Miami (Ohio) on Dec. 16 to replace Dave Wannstedt, who resigned under pressure. Before his...

SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- Pittsburgh has fired football coach Mike Haywood, a day after he was arrested on a domestic violence charge. He was arrested Friday following an incident at his South Bend home, said an officer at the St. Joseph County Jail who declined to give her name. She said Haywood was scheduled to appear in court on Monday. Haywood was released on $1,000 cash bond Saturday after the charge was upgraded to a felony.

Michael Moore, in his Christmas Message to his readers, cited a quote by William Rivers Pitt who is best known to the world as one of the perpetrators, along with Jason Leopold and Marc Ash of TruthOut, of the journalistic hoax that Karl Rove had been indicted on May 12, 2006. Here is Moore quoting Pitt who is quoting without attribution Douglas Adams in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy": Hey Everyone, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas (or a Merry Everything) and hope you are all well today.Here's a good thought from the writer William Rivers Pitt: "Before...

Yesterday we looked at Pied Pied Pitt's, "All I Want for Christmas." But Pitt has BIG NEWS to report in regard to this latest essay of his! None other than MICHAEL MOORE himself has QUOTED from Pitt's article!! THE Michael Moore!!! OMG!!!! Can you BELIEVE it! But here it is, as Pitt reports in this THREAD, "Michael Moore quoted my Christmas article in his Christmas message." Our Boy Pitt must be walking on air! Sicko quotes Socko! Wee Willie has ARRIVED!!! Only . . . there's one little problem. You see, the part where Michael Moore is quoting Pitt,...

That nimble Christmas elf, Wee Willie Pitt, is holding court at Bukowski's, telling everyone within earshot his holiday wishes, here in this THREAD, "All I Want for Christmas." The Pied Piper's pipings are in Red-nosed Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering how Will's attempt at stopping smoking is going, is in the [brackets]: All I Want for Christmas [IS A FREAKIN' CIGARETTE, D*MMIT! AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!] By William Rivers Pitt [One Piper piping . . .] It's snowing in Boston, finally. . . . until yesterday, we here haven't had so much as a flake....

The Big East's football expansion plans leave the conference with 17 universities, including non-Football members. That's a terrible number for scheduling; the only way the basketball teams can schedule an even number of games is if they play every other team only once. 18 teams would allow three divisions of six teams each. Any team would play the other five teams in its division twice, and one half of the twelve other teams in the conference. 18 sounds like worsening the problem of too many teams, but having three divisions could actually restore some rivalries, and return the conference to...

Tsunami Tuesday WIPED OUT Democrats across the land! It was HISTORIC! Gains not seen in MANY DECADES in state legislatures, governorships, in the House, and, yes, even in the Senate! The only two "flips" in Congress, Democrat to Republican, that I'm aware of are two predictable House races (Cao in LA and Castle's seat in DE). No R-to-D flips in the Senate; on the contrary, big gains. Truly, it was a BLOWOUT! But, hey, the Democrats managed to hold on to Sen. Harry Reid (D-SEIU) as their their public face in Cong . . . BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! There is no...

<p>The Hollywood actor said he would consider the death penalty for those to blame for the ruptured well that gushed millions of gallons of oil into the ocean.</p> <p>He was speaking in a documentary due to be screened in the US tomorrow tonight.</p>