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Morford: What Are You, On Drugs?
San Francisco Chronic-le ^
| Wednesday, December 8, 2004
| Mark Morford (does not take her Thorazine orallly)
Posted on 12/08/2004 8:33:37 AM PST by presidio9
The odds are very good that you are on drugs. Right now. This minute. As I type this and as you read this and as false Texas dictators rise and sad empires crumble and as this mad bewildered world spins in its frantically careening orbit, there's a nearly 50/50 chance that some sort of devious synthetic chemical manufactured by some massive and largely heartless corporation is coursing through your bloodstream and humping your brain stem and molesting your karma and kicking the crap out of your libido and chattering the teeth of your very bones.
Maybe it's regulating your blood pressure. Maybe it's keeping your cholesterol in check. Maybe it's helping you sleep. Maybe it's helping you wake the hell up. Maybe it's opening your bronchial tubes. Maybe it's brightening your terminally bleak outlook.
Maybe it's adjusting your hormone levels or controlling your urge to weep every minute or relaxing the blood vessels in your penis or cranking the serotonin to your brain or pumping carefully measured slugs of alprazolam or fluoxetine or sertraline or atorvastatin or esomeprazole or buspirone or venlafaxine or any number of substances with Latin-rooted jawbreaker names through your flesh in a bizarre dance of miraculous vaguely disturbing death-defying scientific wonder.
Forty-four percent of all Americans. That's the latest number. Almost half us are popping at least one prescription drug and fully one in six are popping three or more, and the numbers are only increasing and this of course doesn't count alcohol or cigarettes or bad porn and it doesn't count the mad megadoses of jingoistic flag-waving God-slappin' fear -- which is, as evidenced by the last election, a stupendously popular FDA-approved drug in its own right. But that's another column.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
TOPICS:
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Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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1
posted on
12/08/2004 8:33:37 AM PST
by
presidio9
To: presidio9
humping your brain stem and molesting your karma
That's freakin hilarious!
2
posted on
12/08/2004 8:35:10 AM PST
by
bikepacker67
("This is the best election night in history." -- DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe 11/2/04 8pm)
To: presidio9
Maybe it's keeping my sick ass alive too.
3
posted on
12/08/2004 8:35:30 AM PST
by
Shellback Chuck
(Hey John, whose your daddy?)
To: presidio9
I'm on drugs today! And good thing I am, since without them I would be in very serious trouble.
4
posted on
12/08/2004 8:36:32 AM PST
by
leadpencil1
(google "al-Taqiyya")
To: presidio9
Judging from his writings, I suspect that drugs of some sort are the only thing keeping Mark Morford going.
5
posted on
12/08/2004 8:37:57 AM PST
by
asgardshill
("We march by day and read Xenophon by night.")
To: presidio9
And I'm sure Ms. Morford never ingests any pyschotropic substances.
6
posted on
12/08/2004 8:37:58 AM PST
by
facedown
(Armed in the Heartland)
To: facedown
Only if they were available by suppository.
7
posted on
12/08/2004 8:40:04 AM PST
by
Publius
To: asgardshill
Judging from his writings, I suspect that drugs of some sort are the only thing keeping Mark Morford going. Of the antibiotic variety no doubt.
8
posted on
12/08/2004 8:40:13 AM PST
by
avg_freeper
(Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
To: avg_freeper
I was thinking interferon myself, but I suspect there's an antibiotic or two in the cocktail somewhere.
9
posted on
12/08/2004 8:42:41 AM PST
by
asgardshill
("We march by day and read Xenophon by night.")
To: presidio9
You know, ever since I have joined, I have seen a few articles "written" by this cretin...I cannot believe he actually has a column! This guy has serious issues, and is obviously in need of some serious drugs himself. And NOT the kind you take to lower your cholesterol!
10
posted on
12/08/2004 8:42:45 AM PST
by
exnavychick
(Just my two cents, as usual.)
To: presidio9
Only a small number of people whose doctors prescribe these meds like candy actually need them, and as for the rest there are these things called lifestyle change and dietary change and perspective change and even spiritual shift that can affect the overall health of your life like a goddamn miracle, like a thousand drugs combined, changes that millions simply refuse to undertake because, well, it's just too damn hard.I dare everyone to read this sentence out loud. I bet you can't do it without passing out.
11
posted on
12/08/2004 8:42:56 AM PST
by
SilentServiceCPOWife
(In the smiling twilight of the new political morning, the unwashed told their betters to shove it.)
To: Shellback Chuck
12
posted on
12/08/2004 8:43:06 AM PST
by
E. Pluribus Unum
(Drug prohibition laws help fund terrorism.)
To: presidio9
13
posted on
12/08/2004 8:44:51 AM PST
by
RightWingAtheist
(Marxism-the creationism of the left)
To: presidio9
Ms. Morford preparing for another day at the typewriter.
14
posted on
12/08/2004 8:45:48 AM PST
by
avenir
To: avenir
Frank Booth: "Hey, tits, where's my f*ckin bourbon!"
To: Shellback Chuck
Maybe it's keeping my sick ass alive too. Good answer, good answer. I'd be in trouble without my altace and avandamet, all washed down with a good slug of caffeine laced coffee.
16
posted on
12/08/2004 8:54:43 AM PST
by
ladtx
( "Remember your regiment and follow your officers." Captain Charles May, 2d Dragoons, 9 May 1846)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
Sorry Chief, I'm within my height and weight specs. its my kidneys that are the problem.
17
posted on
12/08/2004 8:57:58 AM PST
by
Shellback Chuck
(Hey John, whose your daddy?)
To: asgardshill
18
posted on
12/08/2004 9:01:15 AM PST
by
Old Professer
(The accidental trumps the purposeful in every endeavor attended by the incompetent.)
To: bikepacker67
I had to dig through all the liberal anti-Bush stuff to find this but he makes a good point:
"But here's the thing: it's still only a fraction. Only a small number of people whose doctors prescribe these meds like candy actually need them, and as for the rest there are these things called lifestyle change and dietary change and perspective change and even spiritual shift that can affect the overall health of your life like a goddamn miracle, like a thousand drugs combined, changes that millions simply refuse to undertake because, well, it's just too damn hard."
He's right about this. Many people due to lifestyle or ignorance over a long period of time are in a situation where they have to take meds. Many other people don't need all the meds but wind up taking them anyway. The side effects of many popular meds are significant and those get largely overlooked when people make decisions about taking them.
Part of the issue also is the lousy dietary advice that's been floating around for so many years -- that high carbs, no meat is the healthiest choice. That's one of the reasons so many people have chronic health problems.
Conservatives are the people of personal responsibility. We should be the ones leading the effort for more healthy choices (note I said "choices", not gov't mandates about taxing Hardee's mega-cheeseburgers and such).
(Flame-retardant suit now firmly in place. . . . )
To: SilentServiceCPOWife
Yeah, his sentence structure is terrible and unreadable. He uses way WAY too many 'and..'. He does this in every column. I don't know if it's his 'style' to do it intentionally, or if he's just a really bad writer.
20
posted on
12/08/2004 9:02:35 AM PST
by
G32
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