Resolutions For The Damned

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/5/5 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

A new year, a Bush-gutted, storm-ravaged world and you in need of some juicy, heartfelt pledges --

This is the year.

No, really. This is the it. This is the year you resolve to let it all hang out and lick the fingertips of the divine and stop holding back and stop quivering with unchecked anticipation/dread as you realize that, if you care a whit for self-definition and spiritual nuance and hot wet intelligence and deep karmic color in this tsunami-hammered, Bush-ravaged world, you are desperately needed right now. It's true.

Alas, many are dejected. Many of the blue or Democratic or progressive or open-minded persuasion are understandably heading into 2005 feeling a bit out of sorts, depressed and bitter and angry and still just a little appalled at the apparent widespread fear-induced ignorance of a country that somehow re-elected the worst president in U.S. history. Yes, still.

Well, buck up, jacko. It could be worse. You could be Michael Jackson. Or Janet Jackson. Or Tito. You could be Anne Coulter or Bill O'Reilly or Trent Lott, people whose souls have become so infested with rat dung that their third eye is brown. See? Feel better already.

Or you could be Dubya himself, so utterly empty and blank eyed and falsely pious. He is but a lint speck on the coattails of time and you just know that you could poke him with your middle finger and all that would pour out would be sawdust and a bunch of tiny ball bearings.

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert!

You've been warned.

[dirtboy]

This is the year you resolve to let it all hang out and lick the fingertips of the divine

Morford wouldn't recognize the fingertips of the divine if they smacked him upside the head.

[TheBigB]

Nothing he writes makes any sense. I mean it...nothing. "Hot wet intelligence"? "Deep karmic color"? What IS this crap? What does it mean? Who is supposed to be reading this junk?

[Maigret]

Proof positive that liberalism is a form of mental illness.

[ladtx]

It constantly amazes me how Morford can be allowed to write (if it can be called writing) for any newspaper. He obviously is so blinded by his own bigotry and prejudices he is unable to think or write intelligently, he only rambles on about his hatreds and expects others to think it is insightful thinking. I suspect he leads a pretty sad life.

[VRWCisme]

He knows that if he strings together enough words in a poetic sounding way devoid of definite meaning and throws in some Bush bashes, he'll be popular in San Fran.

[kahoutek]

"More dildos fewer sitcoms"

This guy's father didn't hit him enough.

[HMFIC]

Morford and A$$bag are one and the same.

What a stooge. (Apologies to Moe, Larry, and Curly)

[Mad Mammoth]

If FR is a Ted Rall-free zone, certainly Morford qualifies as well. His inane stupidity isn't fit for bird cage liner unless you really hate your bird.

[MarineBrat]

Wow, that was like reading vomit with brail!

[HMFIC]

LOL!

He (Morfordite) reminds me of the faggot who was putting parents on the train at King St station. The bone smuggler and his mother were chatting just like two women while Dad was GRITTING his teeth and looked ready to kill someone. Guess he did not know junior was a flamer!

I'm betting Morfordite's Dad has either disowned him or just ignores the butt pirate.

I had to go outside to laugh.

[lady lawyer]

Reading Morford is like a study of abnormal psychology. The stream of consciousness of a depraved individual.

[thulldud]

It's written to look profound. As long as you assume it MUST mean something, you might be induced to think that you've got to catch up to the writer's superior level of hot, wet, deeply-colored samadhi.

100 years ago, this guy would have been selling the Brooklyn Bridge. Same thing.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Bush-gutted ?

[kahoutek]

From: http://www.poynter.org/content/content_view.asp?id=39527

Q: How much feedback/mail do you typically get after a column is published? And what's the ratio between mail from your fans vs. those who hate you?

A: All depends on the column. A particularly pointed anti-Bush anti-war column will get me gobs of sneering hate mail, mostly from the delirious, hardcore psychopatriots at freerepublic.com or lucianne.com or andrewsullivan.com, et al, where they post chunks of my column in their discussion forums, along with my e-mail address, and encourage each other to flame me, usually in the cutest sort of monosyllabic, ragingly homophobic, horribly syntaxed, misspelled sort of way. Makes me proud to be an American. My girlfriend loves the anti-SF gay-bashing they aim my way, I might add.

[nothingnew]

Nice to meet ya'll too. Welcome to freerepublic.

FMCDH(BITS)

[SF Republican]

This guy's father didn't hit him enough - LOL, what was the line I heard a few years back? The kid was so bad I wanted to slap his parents!

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

Ranting fools--and this one is a real piece of work!--only have a job because their B.S. (Barbra Streisand or Bovine Scatology) fills up the space around the ads bought by advertisers. If enough people notify the advertisers about boycotting their products for sponsoring this drivel, the editurds will get the message and publish real Op-Ed, not hateful banalities.

If people only whine and write letters to the editor--and keep buying stuff from the advertisers without holding them to account--we will get more of the same...we've not held the correct feet to the correct fire....

[kstewskis]

Oh brother....

[hermgem]

This is a duplicate of what these old Europeans learned and keep practicing to forget their misery.
Set your sights, focus on something to hate.
Make him/her a target, be destructive, delve in negative thoughts but hate, hate, hate.
Ohhh you feel so much better already.